Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
