there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We left the knife in your bed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
