So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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