I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
