I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
