Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
