I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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