Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
