That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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