I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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