Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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