As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
