check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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