They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
NoShamevember. You game?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
