My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
