her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
