My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
