you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
