I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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