Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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