If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
