New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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