You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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