Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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