I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
