Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
