Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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