you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
