yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
