it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
