Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
