I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
