he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
