The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
