Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
