do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
