I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
