we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
