it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
