u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
