i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize