I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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