I wish I could punch you in the face.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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