I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
