Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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