During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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