His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want her autograph on my taint
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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