I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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