that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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