Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
