Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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