Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
