JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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