just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
