i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
